How to stop overthinking relationship

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We asked a selected group of expert to deliver their best insights and advice on how to stop overthinking in a relationship. When we place a large amount of importance on something going well for example, a relationship however feel unconfident in our ability to realise that outcome, we tend to overthink. Overthinking is also about control. Tiny negatives such as waiting for a while to receive a text reply become more evidence of our inability to maintain a successful relationship, the mind thinks it has to overwork trying to find a solution to this non-issue.

Many overthinkers constantly consider and question whether their partner still holds the same feelings for them. Understand that how your partner feels about you is mostly not in your control. You can only be yourself, and whether your partner continues to desire you is down to them. This can be done by taking a step back and asking yourself questions when you find yourself overthinking about something. An effective set of questions asks yourself to briefly look at the future. Elizabeth Aramd Clinical Psychologist. When care-giver responses are misattuned i. How do you stop How to stop overthinking relationship Use grounding techniques and Mindfulness exercises to stay in the present moment and build acceptance of uncertainty.

Make a list of your values, boundaries and preferred self-care activities. Validate your needs, review and practice regularly. Remember, you are responsible for yourself and others are responsible for themselves.

Cheryl MuirRelationship Expert. This is subconscious, of course. Typically it shows us as a pattern of worrying about the status of a relationship, which sometimes causes panic and a fear of being abandoned. As a result, we try to think our way out How to stop overthinking relationship it.

The fastest way to break this cycle is to hire a relationship-specific coach or therapist to address what happened in childhood. Kristin ThorisdottirPsychologist and Coach. Overthinking is a very common problem. The main reason individuals overthink is low self-compassion, meaning that you are too judgemental of yourself and your actions.

Anxiety and depression are also big reasons for overthinking.

Whatever the reason is, if you tend to overthink, it means that you are too much in your head and too little in your own life. When we overthink, we tend to lose contact with ourselves. Overthinking can further drain us of energy. If you can write your thoughts and feelings down on a piece of paper, you manage to distance yourself from your overthinking.

Often we see things more apparent on a piece of paper instead of up in our head. Plus, when we start writing things down, our self-compassion grows.

Our inner critic becomes less judgemental through writing. By implementing Mindfulness into your life, you will become How to stop overthinking relationship at tackling overthinking. Focus on your breathing. If you feel overwhelmed by your thoughts, try shifting your focus to your breathing. Most stressful and anxious thoughts have to do with the past or the future — and if you are present in your relationship, you cannot be in the past or the future. Tom Barron, Psychologist at Pocketcoach. It is very common for people to overthink in relationships, as putting your trust in another human being produces the kind of vulnerability that many find frightening and difficult to deal with.

Despite this, we consistently seek out intimate relationships, as we are social animals and are evolutionarily wired to reproduce. With that in mind, here are some of my tips on managing and dealing with overthinking in relationships.

Communication is at the heart of every relationship, How to stop overthinking relationship organizing the weekly shop to your sexual preferences. Understanding how you communicate, as well as your partner, helps you to express any negative thoughts in a constructive way.

This is one of my favourites because it is so easy to do. I used to use them when I had problems sleeping too. If you have any worried thoughts about your relationship, then it can be helpful to write these down. By writing them down, and giving yourself some time to reflect on these thoughts, you bring some objectivity to the equation. This objectivity helps you to see what is really going on and decide on the right course of action. Living in the moment has become a commonly-used phrase but that is because there is truth in its impact.

Being able to focus on your own situation, either when you are with or without your partner, enables you to disengage from any negative thoughts.

Often, overthinking can occur when you have a lot of spare time on your hands. If How to stop overthinking relationship are busy yourself, seeing friends, playing sports or music, then you are much less likely to overthink. Quite simply, most of our life is uncertain. We look to categorise things because it makes us feel more certain and therefore less anxious. Anna MorgensternDating coach and Matchmaker. Everyone can have a tendency to overthink in a relationship, especially as we have more experiences under our belt. There are a few things you can do to help stop the overthinking cycle.

It can be as easy as having too much time on your hands. Add a healthy new hobby to your life such as meditation, yoga, hiking, volunteering, anything that keeps you busy and adds a level of gratitude and happiness into your life. Also, know your triggers. What usually sparks your habit of overthinking? Is it alcohol? You should feel comfortable to talk to your partner and let them know if their actions are sparking you to feel insecure.

Why is this action making you feel insecure? You might have some traumas from your past that are triggering you. Your fear of losing them is probably coming from something in your past. It might be a good idea so start talking to a therapist to understand why these feelings are coming up. Overthinking or overanalyzing a can bring a relationship to a screeching halt before it ever gets off the ground! Self awareness is the first step to stop overthinking in a relationship. You need to be able to recognize the behavior in order to change it. The easiest strategy to change this pattern is to replace worrying with positive self talk.

Start overthinking in a positive light! What kind of vacations will we take together? What should we do for our next date? What would be a fun birthday gift to get her? You get the idea! However, be cautious that even positive overthinking is still overthinking.

Read a good book or turn on a podcast. Enlisting the services of a great coach, mentor, or therapist can also be a great strategy. Annie Hsuehd Clinical Psychologist. Why is that, you ask? Anytime we tell ourselves to stop thinking of something, we are automatically thinking of that How to stop overthinking relationship thing.

Did an image of a white bear just come to your mind? Then, find themes in the thoughts you are having. Does it help How to stop overthinking relationship understand central concerns you have regarding your relationship? From there, think about how you want to seek support or comfort. Perhaps you are thinking about specific concerns in your relationship that can be addressed directly with your partner, perhaps you need time to How to stop overthinking relationship to friends to help you process, or perhaps you need time to self-reflect and do some journaling.

Maybe you need to gently remind yourself to focus on the present moment by practicing mindfulness. Randi LevinTransitional Life Strategist. Overthinking is a thief. It robs people of enjoying their commitments to others because fear refocuses energy and time on what could happen, rather than what actually is happening. The result is that one or both parties live in the future, anticipating events that may not ever take place. People overthink in relationships because they are too close to the situation themselves and too emotionally invested in them.

Past relationship failures, or inconsistent communication often herald fears in regard to compatibility or long-haul viability and instead of creating a closer bond, overthinking tends to destroy and break down relationships. Relationships thrive on consistency and communication. If you feel like you are trapped in your head, discuss this with someone you trust, or with your partner directly.

Sometimes, just saying what you are thinking out loud and listening objectively to your thoughts can support you in poking holes in their viability and recalibrating the situation. Think of the bigger picture.

In other words, if you think of the relationship as a whole, are the things you are overthinking about all that important to the overall dynamic? Do they re-occur? Access the broader relationship and then re-access the thought. Does it stay or does it go? Every relationship has agreement and disagreement points, and highs and lows. Challenge yourself to see your relationship in the 24 hours you are in.

If you let go of your heavier thoughts about what did or did not happen or what can or cannot occur, you can focus on what actually is. Plan activities and conversations that celebrate and highlight what actually is occurring right now. People tend to overthink in relationships due to fear of rejection, so they begin overthinking what the other person is How to stop overthinking relationship to do, say, or feel about them. Try to pinpoint the issue. Were you too arrogant, or needy, or clingy? Overthinking happens when you have insecurities — so make yourself confident by banishing any old bad habits.

They can help you put a clear perspective on things, and figure out if your feelings are valid or if you are truly overthinking it.

How to stop overthinking relationship

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How To Stop Overthinking In A Relationship (According To 13 Experts)