Added: Jammal Burkett - Date: 07.10.2021 11:13 - Views: 16205 - Clicks: 1159
It's so easy to get caught up in strong feelings for another person. Love is a potent cocktail of emotions, after all, and it can start to seem like it's all that really matters. But experts agree there are quite a few things Things for love important in a relationship than love. And keeping those things in mind, while moving forward as a couple, is essential.
That doesn't, however, mean you can't be a total romantic at the same time. Love poems are amazing. Dinner dates are the best. And nothing beats receiving flowers or pizza from a doting partner. Those are nice add-ons; sweet things you can do for each other to show just how passionate you are.
But just like your giant heart-shaped eyes, they aren't what will keep you together. When it comes to love and relationshipsit's all much more complicated than that.
There Things for love to be more going on, like trust, respect, and good communication, or else it'll become stale — and could even grow toxic over time. It doesn't matter how much you love another person: If you can't trust them, it isn't going to work. Trust is essential to healthy relationshipswhich is why it's always one of the first things experts look for when assessing a couple's connection. And we're not just talking about cheating and infidelitybut "trust with intimate information, trust with being vulnerable, trust that they will come through in a challenging time," and so on, Klapow says.
Things for love all means your partner has your backand you have theirs. Without trust, you'll live a life of stress and hurt. So ask yourself, do you really want to spend your days with the gut-twisting worry that comes with having a shady or unavailable partner? It's no way to live, so make Things for love a goal. If it doesn't come right away, you can work on getting there over time, possibly with the help of a therapist. Talk about why you don't currently feel secure or cared for, and come up with ways to build trust together.
Have you ever had or witnessed this conversation? It's tempting to look the other way, especially when the idea of breaking up — and losing the person you love so much — sounds positively miserable. Keep in mind, though, how much more important respect is when looking for a solid relationship, than simply being in love. Are you safe in your relationship? Do you feel secure? If the answer is "no," then it doesn't matter even a little bit how much you love the person, especially if it's become an emotionally abusive relationship. A toxic situation is a toxic situation, no matter how you try to frame it.
But it can be really tough to see that when all you're focused on is love. Of course, these types of relationships can get stickier than that.
As therapist Rachel Dubrow, LCSW says, "if you are in a relationship for love, it's likely that you will stay in it because one or more of your inherent needs are being met. In the case of a toxic situation, it's often best to look for a safe way out. Love is never going to be enough to fix an emotionally abusive partner, no matter how hard you try. Everyone wants to be happy, and happiness is really important — even though you won't be happy all the time. In fact, it's normal to go long periods of time when you're unhappy, especially if you're dealing with a crisis.
Things for love when you add up the total happy times versus unhappy times, happy times should come out on top. Even in the most loving, head-over-heels relationships, this takes work. It's necessary, Klapow says, to continue learning about each other, including sharing your hopes, dreams and fears. It not only helps you feel closerbut it can also mean giving each other a boost when times get tough. Love is one thing, but genuinely supporting each other will create the feeling that you've really got a partner.
And what could be better than that? It's more common than you think for people to stay in relationships with people they don't actually like because they love Things for love. If you can't wrap your brain around it, think about that family member who always judges you or isn't so easy to get along with. You love them, because they're family, but you don't actually like being around them. The same thing can happen with a partner.
You might love them so much, but not enjoy hanging out, not make each other laugh, and not have anything in common. So if things have grown stale, take note. While you can't force yourself to like someone, an ongoing sense of connection does need to be built and maintained. You were a "you" before you were a "we," and you should continue to be a "you" when you get in a relationship. There's no amount of love that's worth giving up the essence of who you are. If you get into a relationship and you ultimately lose yourselfforget your own interests, and give up on your goals, that's a problem. It's not necessarily a dealbreaker, and it's not the relationship or your partner's fault.
But you'll want to make an effort to hang onto the fundamental truths of who you are. You can work with your partner to get back to yourself by creating time for things that are important to you, and encouraging your partner to do the same. Were you in the middle of writing a book? Were they training for a half marathon? Encouraging each other to go back to your Things for love hobbies and interests actually result in a greater sense of love, as well as a more meaningful relationship.
In a similar vein, feeling free to do the things you want to do, to Things for love yourself, to go places, and to have your own thoughts and feelingsis not just important in a relationship — it's essential. By completing losing all that to love, you'll actually be doing it as disservice. You can and obviously should include your partner in your decisions, but you should also feel free to decide what's best for youand Things for love carve out your own path when necessary.
As an example, this might look like going to grad school on the opposite side of the country for a few years, even though it means being apart. The right partner will understand and support you. Ultimately, focusing on your own individuality will strengthen your connection because you'll both be coming to it as fully actualized humans, instead of defining yourselves by the relationship. There's nothing better than being with someone who is a true partner in crime.
When that's the case, it'll feel like you can handle anything as a couple, no matter what life throws your way. If the relationship is unequal, though, and only one person is making an effort, it'll quickly go downhill.
Working on striking a balance when it comes to things like chores, emotional support, and so on is essential to creating the type of relationship that lasts. Sure, you can help each other out, and show love by stepping up when necessary and being supportive. But be sure to check in regularly so things remain fair. As Kislin says, "When determining a relationship as a whole, keeping love at the center can detract from other questions and feelings, such as 'Do we want the same things?
It's completely possible to have a great, happy relationship with little to no sexif that's what you both Things for love, or if you've found a way to make it work. But if sex is something that's really important to you, and no matter what you do, you can't get on the same sexualyou're going to have some unhappy times.
This Things for love us back to the idea that your happiness is more important than love. You can work on your sexual compatibilityof course, but if you've tried everything and you're tired of trying, it doesn't matter how much you love your partner. Holding back or feeling like your needs aren't being met will become a major issue. As Klapow says, "Nothing is static in a relationship. As time passes and people change and the relationship changes, this needs to be accepted if the relationship is to last.
Communication is the gasoline in love's engine, which is why there can't be real, lasting love without it. You need communication in a relationship to set boundaries, express your love, fix problems, talk about your needs, and even to have good sex. As Dubrow says, a relationship can start to crumble when a couple gets caught up in misunderstandings, avoids Things for love tough topics, or focuses too much on one problem in their relationship, thus leading to cyclical arguments.
That, in turn, can lead to frustration and resentment. You can have all the love in the world, but good Things for love is going to be what makes things work long-term. Sometimes the heart is totally complicated. You can love someone, but not want to be with them, or not want to be with them right now. You might have other goals, you might feel emotionally unavailable, or you might just not be ready to make a commitment. Timing is important here, too, which is why wanting to be in the relationship can outweigh love.
If things feel a bit off, talking with your partner about what you want, and where you see things going long-term, can help you both figure out if what you have is actually, truly working. All relationships are different, and a lot of problems are solvable. But love — while wonderful and obviously necessary — isn't the only ingredient, or even arguably the most important ingredient, in a healthy relationship.
Josh Klapow, PhDclinical psychologist. This article was originally published on May 13, By Teresa Newsome and Carolyn Steber. Updated: May 28, Originally Published: May 13,Things for love
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